Learn from your Bad Relationships

Today’s post is all about looking on the bright side of the negatives in your life. What better guide for this than the polarizing hit show GIRLS?

I just finished getting caught up on the  HBO series Girls which if you haven’t seen, I highly recommend. It’s a great show about complex relationships and after watching all the episodes I started thinking about what you can learn from Bad Relationships (because the show really is all about the terrible relationships these people have).

Here are some things to learn from Bad Relationships

MASSIVE SPOILER ALERTS AHEAD

Know when you’re not Loved anymore

In the episode Hannah’s Diary, Charlie discovers that his long term girlfriend is no longer in love with him. We’ve all been in a situation where feelings change and we know, deep down, that the love is gone. If you take anything from this post, know that no matter how terrible you are, you deserve to be loved and treated the way you treat people. Move on. You’ll probably end up being super succcesful and your ex will go through a huge tailspin. That really is the best revenge.

Know when nice isn’t good enough

Being nice isn’t going to win you any sort of awards. You might have someone’s gratitude for being a good person but like Hannah’s diary says: Just because someone is kind doesn’t mean that they’re right.

Know when you’re not respected anymore

I could go through all of the first season and a lot of the second season and give you examples of what respect in relationships does not look like. Whether it’s sexual (On All Fours), emotional (almost all of the scenes between Adam and Hannah) or just simple honesty, the show is like a To-Do guide for how to not show someone respect. If someone doesn’t respect you on any level, it might be time to move on.

Know what your deal-breakers are

In the beginning of season 2, Hannah is dating black republican Sandy (Donald Glover) and this comes to a head when she realizes that he doesn’t like her writing and also will never not be a republican. Sure, she couldn’t have known he wouldn’t like his work but she knew he was a republican which was a dealbreaker. There are always exceptions to some dealbreakers but you need to know what you absolutely cannot tolerate.

Know when to walk away

Sometimes it’s as obvious as it was for Jessa in “It’s a Shame about Ray” and sometimes it isn’t so clear cut. It’s easy to be objective when your own heart isn’t on the line so my advice is, try to look at things objectively. Put a loved one in your situation. What would you tell your friend to do? Sometimes the best thing to do is up and leave and never look back

and a final piece of advice on indifference from Booth Jonathan:

Good luck out there

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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