Ladies, don’t put this on your profile

Hey Ladies,

I’ve written before about how to write a great online dating profile but now I want to tell you what you shouldn’t put on your profile. Assuming you want to meet an average guy  to date (single, has a job, is independent, etc.), here are some things to avoid putting on your profile.

  • Your Myers-Briggs Personality Type. Seriously, no one cares at all. Do you think that a guy sees that you’re a ENTJ and actually cares about. Trust me when I say that he does not.
  • How attractive or unattractive you are. By this I mean, don’t tell me how fit or attractive or unfit or unattractive you are, that’s what pictures are for.
  • That you’re wary of online dating. 
  • That you’re ready for something serious/Not looking for one-night stands. If a guy is looking to hit it and quit it do you think he sees this and says “Gee, I guess I better look elsewhere” yeah, you’re wrong. He’s gonna try anyway.
  • That you’ll get back to a part of your profile later. You’re either lazy, don’t have the time or don’t have the interest. Would you want to date someone who was too lazy to type in 5 words, didn’t have time to fill out a form about themself, or didn’t care enough to show who they are on a website dedicated to making connections?
  • You love to laugh and have a good time with friends and go on adventures. Everyone likes to have a good time. How many people have you come across who hate joy and laughter and friendship? Unless you count cats
  • You are unique and not like other girls. Do you have male genitalia? No? Then you’re like most women in the world. Oh, you mean your personality? Please stop talking about your personality I’ll figure it out when we meet.
  • Guys are jerks or generally terrible. Did you know that 1+1 equals 2? Or that the sky is blue? Or that water cures thirst?
  • You are real, blunt, honest, straight forward, etc. Show don’t tell sweetheart
  • You don’t take online dating too seriously. You know who doesn’t take online dating seriously? People without online dating accounts. Trying to come off like you don’t care means you actually care.

Now that you know what you shouldn’t put on your profile, here are some tips about what you should put on your profile:

  • Conversation starters

First let me just say that while the things I discussed above might seem like conversation starters they are not. Sure, they can serve as icebreakers  but honestly those messages wont go anywhere. Think of a good conversation as a web and not a straight line. How would I get from “Guys are jerks” to any other conversation topic seamlessly?On the other hand, if you put into your profile that you’ve traveled to Machu Picchu and hope to one day scale Everest, well, that’s a pretty good conversation starter.

If you want some examples of great conversation starters I’ll lay mine out by profile section (using Okcupid profile sections). If you edit out the Pink Text you’ll have a great profile in no time. Gray Text are notes:

About Me

I’ve lived in (town/city) (time you’ve lived there) and currently live in (Specific part of town). I live in the part (with/without) (reference to type of people synonymous with that part of town i.e. Hipsters, yuppies, etc)

I’m an avid (Hobby you really like talking about i.e.: Reader, mountain biker etc.)

I do X which is (typical/atypical ) of the (demographic I fall into*)  i.e.: I wear a lot of suits considering I’m not a finance guy. Maybe you knit and you’re 25 or you like whittling

What I’m Doing with my life

I do (occupation) for a living but what I do for fun is (thing that you do for fun that you really love talking about*). Discuss this thing and convey your genuine enjoyment

I’m really good at

A skill that starts a conversation. i.e. I’m really good at finding cool bars in Manhattan. This starts the “Do you know a good bar  around here” conversation. Your “skill” doesn’t have to be a real skill (you’re really good at IMDB-level knowledge of B-movie actor filmographies)

The first thing people notice about me

Whatever you do, don’t make it about specific physical attributes. Your best bet here is to ask a friend and say I asked a friend and they said this

Favorite Books, movies…etc.

Whatever you like or do what I do and say “I’m looking for suggestions”

Six things you could never do without

Another great opportunity to talk about that awesome hobby you love

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

First of all, don’t put “nothing” because you think you’re clever. It doesn’t say admit something private, it says the most private thing you’re willing to admit. If the most private thing you want to admit is that you really really love artisanal jam that’s ok. You don’t have to reveal everything, hell, just saying that you’re obsessed with Game of Thrones is enough

So there you have. Write yourself an awesome profile, have legitimate conversations and thank me later.

Good luck out there

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

4 thoughts on “Ladies, don’t put this on your profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.