Are you Ready to Date?

I’m always talking and blogging about dating but I always forget to ask “Are you ready to date?”

Now when I say dating, I mean going on dates with a person, or people, with the purpose of finding someone to potentially commit to. If you’re just going on dates to have fun and not commit well you probably already know that you don’t want to “date” in the traditional sense of the word.

It’s a valid question that we really should consider. Whether you just went through a breakup, a divorce, or are currently dating, you should take sometime to ask yourself these questions to figure out if you should be dating.

1. Do you have time to date?

  • Can you invest your time in going on dates with someone and getting to know them? A good way to figure this out is by counting the times you’ve had to cancel on someone because you don’t have the time.
  • Is it happening more than once a month?
  • How about more than once a week? 

2. Are you over your ex?

  • Do you pine for your ex? Do you often find yourself comparing people to your ex? Are you still in love with your ex?

3. Can you afford to date?

  • Sorry but the simple fact is that if you cannot afford to date, you probably shouldn’t be dating. Don’t go broke trying to woo someone.

4. Are you happy with yourself?

  • Do you enjoy your own company? Are you comfortable in your own skin? Does dating people fill an emotional hole for you?

5. Is dating what I really want right now?

  • Are you dating because of social obligations or expectations? Do you even want a relationship?

If you answered yes to the majority of the questions in Blue, congrats, you are totally ready to date.

If you read the sub-questions and had some apprehension, I hate to break it to you but you might not be ready to date.

You should know that’s ok.

Maybe this post will help you realize that you need to work on yourself before you start searching for that special someone for you. Or maybe it will help you realize that you’re fine, you just don’t want to date.

If you have don’t have time to date, are still hung up on an ex, can’t afford to date, have serious emotional/self esteem issues, or don’t even really enjoy dating maybe it just isn’t for you.

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Dating isn’t for some people the same way marriage or having children isn’t for everyone.

If you have low self esteem I think you should try to fix that. If you don’t want to date, you don’t need to change that if you don’t want to.

Remember, do what makes you happy but try not to hurt people. Dating people when you’re heart isn’t in it is not only a waste of time for you, it’s also can hurt them.

Good Luck out there

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

5 thoughts on “Are you Ready to Date?

  • May 19, 2013 at 11:14 pm
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    I know from what experienced you learned a number of those things! I think any proceeds you get from this blog should be donated to me!

    Reply
    • May 30, 2013 at 2:32 am
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      No promises on the revenue sharing but I definitely think I, much like anyone else who is introspective, learns from all relationships. Good or Bad

      Reply
  • May 20, 2013 at 12:34 pm
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    I don’t know, I think it’s ok to get out there and date even if you don’t have a lot of time, are a bit broke, aren’t quite over the ex. There is never a perfect time do do anything, including dating!

    Reply
    • May 20, 2013 at 2:07 pm
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      I definitely agree that it’s ok to go on dates if maybe it’s not the perfect time. However, I think that if you really can’t commit to seriously dating someone, you need to make that clear early on. If you want to commit but have issues with self-esteem, getting over your ex, are broke, etc. you have to tell the person so they can make an informed decision.

      There is never a perfect time to start dating but saying that upfront helps a ton

      Reply
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