In the wake of all the recent celebrity leaked nudes scandals, I got to thinking about sexting. Chances are if you’re reading this you’ve sexted someone because you’re a savvy technology user. I’ve touched on Sexting before in Sexting: A Primer, but I wanted to revisit sexting.
First let me just describe sexting:
Sexting is the sending or flirtatious and or explicit data between two people using electronic methods.
So yes, the root word of Sexting, Texting, is in there but people can “sext” by sending emails. Sexts also don’t necessarily have to be naked pictures; they can be something as simple as flirty texts, explicit texts, implied nudity, etc. (more on the distinctions in a bit).
So now that we’re both clear on what I would consider sexting, let’s get to the actual guide for sexting. But first, a guide for Texting. Yes, good old fashioned regular texting (you can lump emailing into this as well). So, here is a quick guide for what you can do via Texting (and email) and not be a completely terrible person:
A quick note on the column headers:
Dating: You are going on dates with this person. If someone asks what the deal is between you two you would say “Oh we’re just dating”.
Serious Dating: You are serious about this person. If someone asks what the deal is between you two you would say “We’re getting serious”. Does not exclude folks who are poly-amorous. You can be seriously dating multiple people if that’s the life you lead.
Relationship: You are in a relationship. Self-explanatory.
Pretty simple right? If you’re just dating, you can text (or email) just about everything. If you’ve gone on two dates with a person and want to end things, send a text and you’re not terrible. If you’re pretty serious, you might want to call. If you’re in a relationship, do things in person.
CAVEATS: The reason there isn’t a forth category “Hooking up/FWB” is because it’s the same as dating.
The exception to the rule for all the do’s and don’ts to texting is if following this guide puts you into danger.
Okay, now that you know what and when you should text, let’s cover what and when you can Sext:
Let’s go over what I mean about each scenario and an example of each. Just assume that all the links are NSFW
Flirty Texts: Good ole wholesome flirting. Example: Classic love letters, but with more emoji’s.
Explicit Flirting: Could not be read out loud by your sweet grandmother. Example: James Joyce’s Love Letters . NSFW!!!/Maybe will ruin Joyce’s writing for you!
Sultry Pictures: “Damn I look good today in my outfit; you need to see me in my freak-em dress today. I’m poking my booty way out for you”. Example: Jen Selter’s Instagram
Undies: You didn’t spend all that money on Victoria’s Secret/Whatever the male equivalent is to NOT send a picture, right?: Doutzen Kroes’ Instagram
Implied Nudity: I can’t see anything but my mind is DEFINITELY putting the puzzle together. Example: Cara Delavigne’s Instagram
Isolated Nudity: This is definitely a picture of someone’s chest or butt HOWEVER, I can’t prove who it is because their face isn’t in the picture OR I can see who it is but it’s not full frontal nudity. Example: Scarlett Johansson’s Leaked Pics (or any picture where someone is #Johannsoning)
Identifiable Nudity: This is definitely a picture of someone’s chest or butt and I CAN prove who it is because their face is in the picture. Example: Jennifer Lawrence’s leaked nudes.
If you want to play it safe, but still want to get flirty, Sext up until Sultry Pictures. Anything after that can get dicey for you.
Remember, this guide isn’t strictly for the ladies; it applies to just about everyone. If the guide is telling you it’s a maybe, give it some serious thought.
Of course, this is all just my opinion so why not get a different opinion from a Lady.
On Sexting and Texting we have Allie.
Allie is a writer, actor, model, and loves making videos.
…and as always, Good Luck out there.