Maybe you avoid small talk so much you can’t do it, or maybe you’re just nervous about what to say on your next date. Either way, I’m here to help:
1. Discuss F.O.R.D
Family, Occupation, Recreation, Dreams. Most people want to talk about at least one of those 4 things
2. Avoid R.A.P.E. (also discussing actual rape)
Avoid discussing Race, Abortion, Politics, and Exes. Also, rape. Don’t make rape jokes. Not cool.
3. Exude Positivity
Smile, make eye contact, don’t cross your arms. Exude positive body language that is warm and welcoming.
4. Be Genuinely Curious
If you’re talking to someone, be genuinely interested in what they have to say. Don’t fake it.
5. Balance the Conversation
Don’t interrupt, don’t speak over them, and don’t own the conversation.
6. Find Common Ground and Build on it
Once you’ve figured out a mutual interest or interests, focus on those. This will help you transition into deeper conversations (if you so choose).
7. Recognize when someone isn’t interested in Small Talk
People tend to give you hints if they’re not interested in talking. If they seem to be disinterested, closed off, not all that curious, and don’t seem focused on having a balanced conversation, politely end the conversation and move on.
If you’re uncomfortable with small talk, try it out with strangers. If you’re at a bar, strike up a conversation with other patrons or the bartender. Chat up your barista, people in the elevator, coworkers, friends of friends, and whoever else you can.
Good Luck Out There.