Seeing a girl and her Twitter profile picture is her and her ex. What should I do?

itme1990 asks:

Been seeing this girl for 4 months. She broke up with her boyfriend about 5 months ago and we have been seeing each other. Dates, hanging out, it is basically exclusive (She told me she is not seeing anyone else.) So yes exclusive.

Only problem is on her twitter she still has a photo of her and her ex… He also has his profile picture as them together as well. I am to nervous to bring it up to her but this kind of bothers me and brings up red flags to me.

Any advice? I mean obviously i should just bring it up to her and ask her what is going on with that situation, if it is even a situation anymore. Maybe she just never changed it or is lazy, I mean she is not on twitter 24/7, but it just kinda bothers me.

This sounds incredibly suspect on so many levels that part of me is leaning toward going full on aggressive mode, while the other part of me thinks that maybe you need to approach the situation carefully. Before I dive in and get ahead of myself, let’s look at the situation:

1. You’ve been dating this girl for 4 months

2. 5 months prior to that, she was in a long-term relationship. Meaning, she was single for 1 month before she met you.

3. She told you that she isn’t seeing someone else. You assume that this means that you are exclusive.

4. Her profile picture on Twitter is of her and her ex. Her ex also has a picture of them together.

Here’s what we don’t know based on your comments:

1. How frequently she uses Twitter

2. How frequently he uses Twitter

3. If they’re still in contact

4. Whether or not you’re in a committed relationship or simply just not dating other people.

If I had all of this info I could provide you with some very specific advice. Since you didn’t provide it, I’m going to approach my advice from two ways:

Optimistically: She’s not a frequent user of twitter, he’s not a frequent user, they’re not still in contact and you are in a committed relationship

Pessimistically: She is a frequent user of twitter, and so is her ex, they’re still in contact, and you guys are not in a committed relationship.

Now, here’s how I would approach each situation:

Optimistic Approach

Let’s assume that your lady friend, like most people, don’t really use Twitter all the much (except me of course, go follow me!). Chances are that she uses it so infrequently that she hasn’t even considered that her profile picture is of her and her ex. If her ex isn’t a frequent user, the same could apply to him as well. Assuming all of that is the case,  I’d say bring up the twitter profile picture in the same way you would bring up to someone who has their fly down, or that they have something in their teeth. Delicately, but also in a way that says “Hey you probably missed this, no big deal”. Chances are that she’s never noticed the old profile picture. Or, she only uses twitter on her mobile device which only shows your profile picture when you tweet. Either way, it’s possible it’s just a goof and the same could go for her ex.

Pessimistic Approach

Let’s assume that your lady friend is actually using Twitter pretty frequently. What does that mean? Well, she still could not be aware that her profile picture is of her and her ex. Or, something could be up (which is very likely). It’s possible that she’s still seeing him, or potentially wants to rekindle their relationship. Here’s what I’d do if I was in your place. If you can, check to see if they’re chatting with each other on Twitter. It doesn’t take much effort and it’s not exactly “stalking”, just checking up on information that’s already out there. If you’re getting a funny feeling based on their communications and everything else related to the profile photos, it’s time to ask about it  and be direct. If she doesn’t think you guys are all that serious (despite the monogamy), it’s possible that she’s holding out hope that she’ll get back with the ex. If she gives you an excuse that has anything to do with her not wanting to change the profile because she doesn’t want to tell family or friends that they broke up rest assured that she doesn’t take you seriously at all. If you confront her and she keeps the profile picture as is, she’s either still dating the ex, or wants to be dating him.

Hopefully one of these methods is the right method for you. Don’t feel nervous about bringing it up because I can promise you, if the situation was flipped, she’d bring it up in a heartbeat.

Good Luck Out There.

Demetrius Figueroa

Demetrius is a sex, dating, and relationship writer based in Brooklyn.

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