I’ve been seeing a girl for almost a month. She’s 20 and I’m 25. The other day she tells me she kissed another guy while drunk at a party. She told me immediately and apologized. She said that she does not have any feelings for him and that she doesn’t know how it happened.
Is this grounds for break up?
Absolutely! Also, absolutely not! Huh? Okay, I know that might be a bit confusing, just hear me out. Cheating in any form, whether physical or emotional is grounds for breaking up. In fact, literally anything you can think of is grounds for breaking up. She doesn’t cover her mouth when she yawns? Break up with her. She doesn’t “get” the hype around Back to the Future II? Break up with her. On the other hand, some would say that an innocent kiss is no grounds for a breakup, or that breaking up with someone because of their poor manners is silly, or that interest in movies shouldn’t dictate your dating life. My point is, “grounds for break up” is so subjective that there is no right answer. Depending on your beliefs, you might never find grounds for a break up if you’re married to someone including domestic abuse, infidelity, and so on. On the flip side, something as simple as “I don’t like the way he styles his hair” could be grounds for a break up. Subjectivity is funny like that.
With all that said, I can’t answer your question, but I can help you find your answer. Simple question for you: Do you think that cheating via kissing someone is grounds for breaking up? Honestly, I don’t know what I’d do in your situation, so it’s okay if you don’t have an answer off the top of your head. It’s a tough decision to make, so give it some thought. Really consider if this is something you want to let slide or if it’s worth ending things over. I know some people who consider any form of cheating to be grounds for a break up. I know some people who would brush this off as an honest mistake. Neither of those scenarios is right or wrong. You need to figure out what’s right FOR YOU. Not the person next to you, not your friends or family, not even me. You’re the person who has to live with your decision, so you need to be the one to make it.
Ultimately you’ll need to decide what to do, and here are some questions to ask yourself, besides the one I mentioned above:
- Was it nothing, a simple mistake, or a sign of great infidelities to come?
- How did you feel when she told you?
- Does her telling you have any bearing on your opinion of her honesty or commitment to fidelity?
- Do you think she’ll cheat again?
- Is there anything she can do to allay your fears or feelings of betrayal?
There’s isn’t one right answer in your situation and people’s opinions will differ on what to do, but it’s for you to decide. Sometimes a kiss is just a kiss, sometimes it’s a sign of things to come. Either way, make sure you make the decision that you want to make and one you’re comfortable living with.
Good Luck Out There.